Welcome to my first post. I’ve thought long and hard about what to write but threw most of my ideas out. So with that in mind I’ve decided to start 9 years ago. Why? Well I have a new nephew now and it got me thinking about my children when they were babies. As a new mum there is so much pressure on you to do this and what. ‘Breast is best’, ‘don’t lie babies on their front’, ‘don’t cosleep’ etc etc. It’s a minefield. I remember being so flooded with information that I just didn’t know what was right or wrong! When I had my first I needed a transfusion, was weak, tired and struggling with breast feeding. Crunch point came when a health visitor told me to get up every 2 hours during the night to establish it …. I didn’t, so my eldest was bottle fed. My youngest was breast fed and it all went well. I look at them and frankly I can tell the difference. Don’t beat yourself up. If baby is happy, warm and loved that is the most important thing ever.

So I’m going to carry on now with examples of my early mummy fails.

Those first poos! Oh my goodness, nothing quite prepares you for them. Yes you are told about them but boy oh boy they are something else. My first mummy fail came changing eldest son nappy only for the first poo to make an appearance ….. Once the nappy was off, all over the hospital bed! We just sat there dumbfounded and yes we called the nurs to help! First mummy fail!

The postpartum period …. Erm yes no one really talks about it in much detail. Well let me tell you, weeing with stitches is not as painful as constipation, caused by the prescribed painkillers, with stitches. Ouch! But it’s all short term pain. Stitches generally heal fast, weeing with a jug of water eases it and quite frankly the mattress thickness maternity pads make excellent padding when sitting down. 

Boobs! If your breast feeding be aware that the slightest cry from your child, and possibly any baby within a miles radius, will have you leaking through breast pads and on top your lovely top. Yep, been there and done that …. In a cafe! Unfortunately I didn’t notice until I’d left and strolled down the town centre getting odds looks. Try folding your arms and pushing a parm …. Not easy! 

Baby vomit and milk become your new perfumes. I even turned up at work with, as I discovered mid morning when a kind student quietly told me, a milk stain on my lovely navy top! Part of me just wanted to point out I’d had 3 hours sleep that night, had stayed up til 12 marking as baby wouldn’t go to sleep, then got at 3 to a teething baby but realised this 14 year old was actually being kind. So always check the rear view before you go out.

Always take several outfits with you. Yes babies go through a ridiculous amount and if a nappy is going to leak or a baby is going to throw up there’s a massive chance it will happen when you’re out. My youngest’s nappy exploded at his christening, whilst sat on his grandmothers knee! She was wearing a lovely light colour at the time. It was not a pretty sight …. And I forgot a change of clothes for him! 

So here are just a few of my early mummy fails. Trust me there have even many more which I will share another time. For now I’ll sign off and enjoy a glass of gin and tonic whilst doing a little knitting …. Yes I am so rock and roll.


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